As we dress up on this Thursday morning for office, from the corner of my eyes I saw my husband put on the clothes that was meant for our 30th wedding anniversary celebration and photo shoot. We were not able to accomplish that feat for many reasons: My own fabric could not make it to the tailor. Hmm, I thought in my mind, how much we have grown apart, yet we are still very united. I was attracted to him as I saw the hunter green hand made suit cling to his body glittering with the stones on it. I can’t explain this.
Later at the office he was trying to give me a seductive look and I just told him straight with a smile “I am not moved by those looks again” – this hurts a little and he said “I have observed that for some time and I know that, that does not attract you again and it’s painful to me” he said. Looking at him I spoke my mind: “Honey, it is the person and personality behind your looks: the heart, the gentleness that breaks my bones and makes me lean on you that counts much today” I said. Later I sat to really think about it, what attracts me to my husband again?
Same question I pose to you, what attracts you to your spouse as you age? Maybe the few points I have will help you find your attractiveness again.
TRUST: Love is NOT the most important thing, but rather having someone you can rely on when you need them most. Are they engaged in doing life with you? Or you are just pulling along? Trust guides us in who we can love. As long as you are doing life together with your spouse and there is still laughter and joy, you see the wrinkles that were not there before and you can say this is part of what attracted you to me, I still trust you.! The opposite: The emotionally lazy spouse that avoids conflict, blames others, and is not accountable to their actions.
CONFIDENCE: Confidence is about trusting yourself and trusting your spouse. In order to do that, you must become self aware of your strengths and your weaknesses. Phil 4:13 You know who your partner is and , their inherent worth, and find happiness within themselves and share that with others around them. That is attractiveness. The opposite: The insecure spouse that is constantly belittling themselves, doubting their abilities, and is constantly comparing themselves to others.
PHYSICAL APPEARANCE: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and when we see our partners taking care of their health, prioritizing hygiene and taking care of themselves because they want to look good for us, that’s very attractive. More than often my husband takes care and is concerned about my health, he shows it and talks about it, It shows they care how they look for us. SOS 1:12 John 12:3-4 Hosea 14:6-7 Get the fragrance let it linger, smell him, smell her. Take care! The opposite: The spouse that doesn’t care about their looks and becomes a slob. This spouse will no longer be attractive and no chemistry or tenderness will flow. Take time to smell nice to your spouse.
Finally: INTERDEPENDENCE: Finding opportunities to lean on each other for different needs in life. Get a big opportunity to lean on your spouse and enjoy it. Celebrating each other’s differences and then leaning on them. This should be a point of attraction because this is a friend for life. It is not the money or the food, but what your spouse carries and gets you attracted. The opposite: Codependents that suck the life out of you and Independents that are more like roommates.
Remember ; Attraction is a quality or feature that (evokes) brings or recalls a feeling of interest, liking, or desire.